But Miriam, we've only just met
I thought I would visit one of the local hamams for a proper Turkish bath - there are several around the Old City that are more than 300 years old, and I thought it would be an excellent way to 'soak' up some culture (groan).
After signing up for the full wash, polish and turtle wax at Cagaloglu Hamam, Miriam Margolyes gave me a very small towel, instructed me to strip off and escorted me into the giant marble hall fitted out with ancient columns and fountains where she mimed that I should splash myself with water to rinse off, and that she would be right back. Unsure of just what to do, I took a surreptitious look to see what the others were doing, and found they were...basically splashing themselves with water. OK, not that complicated!
30 minutes later, I was still sitting naked and wet in Miriam Margoyles bathroom, and with only the ability to order tea in Turkish, I was acutely aware that my negotiating skills were very much restricted. Luckily she finally returned, took me by the hand, and led me to the large heated marble platform in the centre of the room.
There she proceeded to scrub the top layer of my skin off, then roughly kneaded my flesh, whilst I, all soapy slid over the marble dais like a ouija board pointer. At certain points she grabbed my arm and held it close to her to stop me moving, which left me very much at risk of feeling her up. The indignity not complete, she then sat me at her feet and proceeded to roughly wash my hair like I was 3 years old, with suds pouring down my face.
Oh yes, needless to say, I giggled the whole way through. And emerged very clean indeed.
After signing up for the full wash, polish and turtle wax at Cagaloglu Hamam, Miriam Margolyes gave me a very small towel, instructed me to strip off and escorted me into the giant marble hall fitted out with ancient columns and fountains where she mimed that I should splash myself with water to rinse off, and that she would be right back. Unsure of just what to do, I took a surreptitious look to see what the others were doing, and found they were...basically splashing themselves with water. OK, not that complicated!
30 minutes later, I was still sitting naked and wet in Miriam Margoyles bathroom, and with only the ability to order tea in Turkish, I was acutely aware that my negotiating skills were very much restricted. Luckily she finally returned, took me by the hand, and led me to the large heated marble platform in the centre of the room.
There she proceeded to scrub the top layer of my skin off, then roughly kneaded my flesh, whilst I, all soapy slid over the marble dais like a ouija board pointer. At certain points she grabbed my arm and held it close to her to stop me moving, which left me very much at risk of feeling her up. The indignity not complete, she then sat me at her feet and proceeded to roughly wash my hair like I was 3 years old, with suds pouring down my face.
Oh yes, needless to say, I giggled the whole way through. And emerged very clean indeed.
posted by Nis at 12:57 pm
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